Its been a whole month since you’ve heard from me. That’s because I have discovered David Thorne and have been reading his archived blog entries this whole time. Okay, not really. But, he’s REALLY funny and very entertaining. Its my new passtime and I encourage you to check him out.  You won’t be disappointed…and if you are, well then you seriously have no sense of humor.

I have been home for over a month. I got home from the hospital the day after Mother’s Day. Ironic it couldn’t have be ON Mother’s Day, right? I mean, it would’ve been a great gift. But, oh well, the universe works in its own ways. Here’s all the good news. The doctors continue to say that the leukemia is gone and that I should not need any further treatment. I had weekly, then bi-weekly checkups. I have now graduated to seeing my oncologist in August. I had my port removed, therefore meaning my doctor thinks I won’t need it anymore. I take all of this with a grain of salt. The more I read, I think most cancer patients/survivors can agree. Don’t get me wrong I am more than happy with all the progress I have made. I am ecstatic that I don’t have to have any more chemo right now. Am I gun shy? You bet. Am I looking over my shoulder wondering if its going to come back? You bet. I’m not sure at what point you let go of those feelings a bit. I certainly have a chance of relapse. I also have a chance of getting hit by a car tomorrow. I guess its all about mindset and not letting fear take control.

Mothers Day 2014

Mothers Day 2014

I am grateful. Grateful that I get to be home with my kids this summer. I’ve never had a block of time where I am not working and I am just a full-time, stay at home mom. I may never have this opportunity again and I am happy that we are making up for “lost time.” I am also totally adjusting to being at home ALL the time with my kids. If there is a mom out there that says she loves it and its just totally awesome – I am pretty sure she is blowing smoke up our a$$. We all wish for a few minutes of piece and quiet, feel like we are going crazy from time to time and count down the days until school starts again. I don’t care what any other mom says. But again, right now, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

What else am I grateful for? Driving my own car and going to Dairy Queen if my daughter ice cream fiend feels like it (…or if I feel like it.) One just opened up RIGHT by our house and this is really the worst thing in the world. I have had to instill an “every other day schedule” so we aren’t complete fatties. I can pump my own gas. And feed my dogs. I can sleep in my own bed. Going to Ava’s dance recital. Taking the kids to a birthday party.You get the point. Unless you’ve been in the hospital for weeks on end, you don’t realize all the freedoms you’re denied. I am happy to have them back. So, moral of the story? (There’s always one…) Even when stupid, crappy things happen in my day, I am still sort of grateful that they happened because if I was sick and in the hospital, they wouldn’t have happened at all.

Ava & I at her dance recital.

Ava & I at her dance recital.

Grady at one of the most recent birthday parties.

Grady at one of the most recent birthday parties.



6 thoughts on “Grateful

  1. Hey Mandy,
    I am so glad to hear you are on the road to normalcy again! I don’t blame you for looking over your shoulder or being gun shy…but you have the right mind set to enjoy your kids, be real about motherhood and eat DQ as often as you see fit! It’s food for the soul! I love the updates and I will check out David Thorne. Please keep in touch!

  2. Amanda I am so happy to see you growing strong and doing normal things in your life again. I will continue to pray for you to stay cancer free and live the life you so chose So happy for your second chance at life. Hurrays and hugs. Debbie.

  3. I am so glad to hear the good news. I know the next time I see Grandma Jesswein she
    will probably relate her happiness, too. Enjoy your summer.
    Ellie Roger ( Grandma J’s neighbor at the lake.)

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