This is a story of a girl that was a pom pon, Liliac Princess, straight-A, over-achiever in high school who meets the guy of her dreams in college. She gets married in Las Vegas and the whole world is before her. My husband and I decided the glitz of Vegas was getting a bit mundane, so we began our own personal training business and we built a new home. The next natural progression was to have a baby.

In May 26, 2007, Ava Grace graced with us with our presence and changed our lives.

Baby Ava

Two and a half years later came her hell-raising but darling baby brother, Grady Jeffrey (named after my deceased dad.)

Baby Grady

Life seemed perfect. 

Then the economy started to take a turn and Las Vegas was hit harder than other parts of the country. So business was getting slower, our house was quickly finding itself underwater (along with more than 75% of the rest of the valley). Things simply got stressful and scary. We went through a year long process of short-selling our home and we found a home to rent.

It was a beautiful home with a pool and we could walk to one of the best elementary schools in the Vegas Valley. However, we were still financially strapped and it soon didn’t become worth it. My husband began resenting each other, miscommunicated and we both acted out in our separate ways. He ended up moving out in September of 2012. That is when I really lost myself. I was only a shadow of my former self. My children were taken care of and it feels like that’s about it. Thankfully I’ve learned children are resililant.

A bottle of white wine was my best friend each night. It took the problems away – or so I thought. I know it wasn’t right but that’s what it became and I had no one to tell me that it wasn’t okay. Well I did, but let’s be real, we only listen when we really want to.

Two years went by in this home when I decided I did need something smaller and more managable. My husband had been helping me with the larger home, but it was just still expensive and too much upkeep for an under-functioning adult and 2 little kids and dogs. So this last May I went house hunting on my own with my good friend and it took us awhile to find something to rent in the school we were previously zoned. My kids had been though so much change in the past few years, I didn’t want to add changing schools to the list as well.

Within a week and a half before my lease was up I found a great house. It didn’t have the swimming pool and spa, it wasn’t as large, we couldn’t walk to school, we would have to drive, but it was perfect for us! I was estatic! It has a neighborhood full of girls and boys all my kids ages. They have all become best friends and play non-stop.

I spent a good 2 weeks, with help from friends and got the 3800 sq. ft. packed into a 2000 sq. ft. house. Needless to say I had too much stuff. I have donated so much, given away so much and my garage is still full. Here I come e-Bay, Craig’s List, (maybe a garage sale…if I ever get up for it.) I am sure a lot of it will still get donated.

The last 2 months is when things got very rocky and I didn’t even realize how broken down my body (both physically and mentally) had become. I no longer had help from our nanny, so my husband and I decided that I was just to stay home, unpack and do all of the mundane moving chores. I had 2 kids home for school for the summer and I was all of a sudden I was a stay at home mom. This was a complete change from my former life or self. I started to have no appetitte, I was getting dizzy, weak, almost passing out, throwing up, diarhhea, and headaches. I had just energy to care for the kids, make sure they were fed and that we made it to our activities throughout the day. I felt like a terrible mother but didn’t feel I had a place to turn. I was always the wife, sister, mom that always had it together. It was scary to admit that I didn’t it.